I think I have a picture in my head of what one must look like in order to consider themselves a crunchy urban farmer.
For example:
This person DIYs everything under the sun and does so with a calm smile on their face. They don’t mind being different and swimming against the (main) stream of society in order to produce more and consume less. They never purchase coffee from a coffee shop and they wear out every item of clothing they have before considering purchasing more. They make all of their own personal care products and don’t own a single piece of plastic.
Where this idea came from, I have no idea, but it’s in my head and I can’t shake it.
So, when I compare myself and our sorta crunchy life to the one I have in my head I sometimes feel a bit…well, almost shamed…like I should be doing more/trying harder at this whole environmentally friendly path we’re on.
While I try to daily embrace the fact that our lives are all perfectly imperfect, it’s still a struggle. I give myself a hard time about basic things that no one else would probably give me a hard time about.
For example:
- I think cloth diapers are gross and that baby poop is even grosser. Totally worth doing for the benefit of my baby’s bottom and our environment, but still incredibly gross (and very time consuming).
- I take really long showers even though I know we live in the high desert and we are in the middle of a very long, very brutal drought.
- We keep the heat up higher than we probably should in the winter and we run the swamp cooler a lot during the hottest part of the summer.
- I don’t use vinegar for all of my cleaning needs.
- We still purchase laundry detergent instead of making our own.
- I don’t collect our chickens eggs every single day…sometimes I skip a whole day!
- Our house, more often than not, looks like a hot mess instead of neat and orderly like I’d like it to or like you see in all those pretty sun-streaming-in-through-the-meticulously-cleaned-streak free-windows-onto-a-perfectly-spotless-floor farm photos.
I could go on and on with my list, but I’ll stop here for now and spare you more details than you might want to know 🙂
However, am I alone in my guilt? Alone in my preconceived ideas of how things should be? Alone in the fact that, while we are making changes and are considered incredibly crunchy by our friends and family, there is still just so.much.work.to.do and I’m not always going to enjoy it? I think not!
And to the bigger question here, is the guilt/shame even warranted?
The point is, there is always going to be more we can do or things we can do differently. Some tasks we will enjoy, or learn to enjoy, and some tasks will always be a pain. I think the biggest challenge is in the comparisons we make to others even when those comparisons are unrealistic.
I mean, really, you think that floor is always spotless and the sun always shines on it just so?
I think not!
So, please share with me in the comments below your own experiences… Do you have any preconceived notions of how your life should look? Have you embraced the fact that it doesn’t (always or often) look that way? What has helped you embrace it? How is your life perfectly imperfect?
xoxo,
M
Thanks for the post! I feel the same way and wish there was more I could do too. I just bought a house with my wife in October and I have these great plans but time, money, and planning get in the way. Just remember to be satisfied with what you are doing! It is probably more than 95% of Americans.
One last note I think being completely plastic free is nearly impossible leaving in the USA. Maybe I should try harder but it is everywhere!
One step at a time, right? I completely agree with you on the plastic issue, too…it’s everywhere. Grrr… 🙂
I always said my house would be neat and tidy all the time once the kids were grown and gone. They’re grown and gone. I was mistaken. There are still things that are more important than a house that’s always neat and tidy. Hot mess is a good description for my place most days. So far so good. Nobody’s died because the floor doesn’t get washed as often as it should.
Robin recently posted…Scooter
This addresses exactly what I’ve been talking to myself about lately I’ve been pushing myself to do more and more and forgetting to enjoy the things that brought me to where I am. I enjoy gardening, but not when I’m trying to do more than I can. I love having goats, but getting up early to milk when I’ve worked myself to death the day before isn’t fun. And house-cleaning! forget about it! I like having a clean house, but it just isn’t one of my priorities right now. We all do the best we can, and we have to leave room to enjoy family and take time to relax once in a while.
Debbie recently posted…Babies bustin’ out all over
It’s the enjoying family and relaxing a bit that’s the whole point of life, right? I mean, really, in the grand scheme of things, everything else is just fluff 🙂
I think to everything we do is a season, I know that I could wash all those dishes by hand, but right now I just trying to keep the house afloat, so the dishwasher gets used quiet a bit. And in all reality, when you look at other blogs they only show you the “pretty side”, and seem to forget the mention the struggles. Confession articles are my favorites lol
Martina, agreed. I find myself falling into the trap of only showing the good and pretty, though I do try to mix in the chicken poop, mice in the compost, and flies in the feed from time to time, too 😉
Well said! I don’t consider us very crunchy-even though we try. But our parents and some of our friends consider us “hippies”. Don’t tell them that sometimes when our house is so messy that the walls start closing in, I grab the kitchen trash can and walk around the house just tossing stuff in–recyclables and all. And sometimes I find stuff at the back of the vegetable crisper that I don’t even want to touch long enough to carry it to the compost, so into the trash it goes. And then I lie awake thinking about it. We’re all imperfect aren’t we?
Magi recently posted…Kids Backpack Emergency Kit
Magi, yes we are! And, I have to admit…I sometimes toss the veggies from the crisper that aren’t even recognizable any more into the trash as well! Glad to hear I’m not alone in that 😉
I love these “confession” type of lists from super crunchy people- it’s just a great reminder that we’re all trying our best and it’s okay to give yourself grace. I’m already giving myself grief about buying a [large] pack of paper plates to use after baby #2 arrives next month. But I know my sanity is worth the environmental impact for such a short period of time… But still, it goes against everything I’m trying to do!
Ashley Housley recently posted…Mondays on the Farm?
Ashley, I totally back you on using paper plates for a while after your Little One arrives! Sanity trumps crunchy, every single time <3
I recently started a garden in the front yard. So far its been fairly well contained in raised beds and the neighbors have seemed interested and encouraging. But, the pumpkins have recently started the “creep” and there is no telling how far they will go. I think I can handle the leafy green chaos that exists in the raised beds (and so could my neighbors) but I am not certain how the crawling pumpkin vines will be received. Next year – pumpkin patch in the back yard. 🙂
Sarah, CHEERS to you for planting in the front yard! Now, I’d love to see some pictures of those creeping vines 🙂 Too bad we aren’t neighbors…we’d get along just fine!
I am 70 years old and waiting for the mantle of efficiency to elevate me into a person with superb organizational skills — read — one who uses them. Isn’t going to happen, but I am making progress tiny bit by tiny bit. I celebrate when I finally get my bathroom spotless — about a once a week accomplishment. I celebrate if I get the bed made. I make a job list that includes 10 10-minute chores and feel elated when I mark each and every one off. I don’t recycle everything, but am revamping trash carry-outs one item at a time. Recycling has to have the cooperation of ALL household members — especially the one who hauls the trash to the county center.
I have purchased all the ingredients for DIY cleaning supplies — hope that brings in some bonus points. If I ever get around to making my own laundry powder, everything I need is on the shelf, floor or somewhere in the basement.
My next chore is putting all my DIY recipes and uses in a notebook and GET STARTED.
Linda, I *love your perspective and all of the steps you are making! I also love your list of 10 10-minute chores! I just might have to use that idea as I’m always thinking about the BIG projects, but all the little projects add up and make a huge difference 🙂 Thank you!
My perfect vision is a woman who always wears an apron, has a huge herb garden that she makes all her medicines from, knows the Bible by heart and is known by everyone as the woman who can fix anything.Or anyone. I am not her. Great post.
Tami Lewis recently posted…Ya Know What’s Hard?
Lol Tami…I’d love to make all my own medicines straight from the garden as well! 😉 Glad to hear I am not alone in my comparisons to others! However, I’m sure you rock at many other things and hey, you still have time to do at least of of the things on your list, right?
A hot mess. My life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve never considered myself a crunchy homesteader, but after reading your list, I guess I am. My problem with the crunchy title, however, is the level of crunchiness that others aspire to. Is it Granola status, or Grape Nut status? I think we need to carve out our own lives, and forget the ideal images of what it must be like to be the ultimate crunch-mister.
One of the most deceiving things about our lives right now is bloggers and social media (not all bloggers, by the way). I’m sorry to say, but carefully crafted photos of sparkling kitchens, impeccable and perfectly angelic children on display, wrinkles edited out of selfies, and showing the world a side of life that never existed, not even to those taking the photos or blogging about their lives. It’s a slippery slope. I hate the fact that most of peoples lives now are edited. With phone in hand, every moment is captured and filtered to appear a certain way. It’s deceptive at best. How is it that an Iphone that takes great photos all the sudden is blurry and glosses over physical imperfections?
People are so unsatisfied with their lives that they must edit and enhance it to feel better about themselves. Fake smiles, mouth open, and frozen in time, trying to convince the world that they are happy, fulfilled and enjoying their lives. Just like the fashion industry did with models to create the unobtainable standard of beauty, now people are doing this with their very own lives, setting standards that they can’t even attain.
I have the messiest kitchen in the universe currently, and I’m waiting for my bathroom to grow a personality and talk to me. It used to be that the level of a clean home showed your love and dedication as a wife and mother. I’m not sure I can subscribe to old patriarchal views of womanhood. It’s amazing that it continues to surface as the ultimate goal of being a woman, mother, wife or whatever. Life is messy, I’m messy, my youngest child I think created a new level of messy that would rival a hoarder.
We put far too much pressure on ourselves in the pursuit of obtaining a new standard perfection on our lives. In the end, it doesn’t even matter.
The standard of perfection is to love fully those around us. To give generously to those in need, and to reach out a willing hand to those who want our guidance. In this, there is no imperfection, or new level of height to achieve. It is our destiny and our humanity.
Angela recently posted…Farm Journal: This Week at Luna Hill
Anglea, thank you so much for your thoughtful response!
It really is the editing that gets me! I do it, too, but I don’t think I have the skill set or the time to devote to some of the crazy edits I see around…people are almost unrecognizable! And yes, media has a huge role in this.
Thank you for the reminder in your final paragraph above. Beautiful. <3
Crunchy? I’m not sure what that term means. Do you mean eco oriented? Or self sufficient? Or sort of both?
One of my townhouse mates calls me her eco-goddess. I’m SO not. I certainly do a lot of little things and a lot of big things eco wise, but I fail in a lot of ways too. But I’m not big on guilt. I try things and sometimes they work out and sometimes they don’t. I do what fits into my life. I’m pretty good with that. So I’m OK being imperfect. I know we all are. We are human.
Daphne recently posted…Celebrating Chinese Cabbage
Daphne, sort of both 🙂 Thank you for the reminder that not all tasks or ideas work for everyone. We are all on our paths and that in and of itself is perfect! Cheers!
I think we get ourselves into a ‘tizzy’ when we compare what or how we are doing something with what others are doing! Everyone has their own priorities and agendas – “Everyone is normal in their own abnormalities”! Another thought — “Some days are better than others!” Stressing over imperfection is useless – be yourself and do what is best and comfortable for you and yours!
Thank you, Maryanne! I find that, with the help of the media these days, keeping up with the Joneses has been brought to a whole new level! I love your statement, “Everyone is normal in their own abnormalities”! PERFECT 🙂