This post could also easily be called, “Now I Understand Why People Elope!” 😉
Two short months ago, when we finally decided to get married and set our date, we didn’t think much of the quick turnaround.
Instead, we thought:
We are doers.
We are facilitators.
We are badass DIYers.
We’ve got this!
So we made our guest list, printed and mailed our invites, started talking about food and beverages, and marveled at all of the sunflowers our sweet Sprout planted without our knowing and decided that everything was going to be perfect.
Food seemed like the biggest deal. You know, if you feed people, they usually stay pretty happy, right? If you don’t…well…people get hangry (myself included).
So, I asked some friends (online and in real life) for their best DIY wedding advice on how to save money and save our sanity and were told conflicting things like, “Self cater! It’s fun and will save you a ton of money” and “Never, ever, ever, self-cater! It was a nightmare!”
Well, I guess different personalities call for different approaches, right?
Make it easy on yourself….invite a few people, make it a potluck, have someone else make your cake, grow your flowers or whatever and build a willow trellis to get married under. Have a friend become a minister and marry you. The one thing to splurge on? BOOZE! – Ashley @ The Browning Homestead
The biggest trick has been, I think, finding our own Sweet Spot in all of the advice…In figuring out what resonates with us as a couple, as well as what will save our individual sanity.
For example, I think Kim could self-cater our wedding (with help from friends, of course) and it would go wonderfully…or as wonderfully as possible…and she just wouldn’t give any weight to any imperfections.
I, on the other hand, almost have a full on anxiety attack anytime I think of doing such a thing…especially for 100+ people!
20 or 30 I could handle, but our Tribe is large and they’re going to be hungry!
And so we’re not going to self-cater and holy moly is food expensive!
When we got married, we did all of our own food. We made/froze lasagna ahead of time, and served with (here’s the relevant part) a HUGE salad buffet. If you time it right, maybe you could harvest a lot of the salad fixings right from your own farm? That would be so cool. My only suggestion is to not stress it at all. It won’t all work perfectly, but it will work and at the end you will be married (legally and all!) and there will be beer. – Kris @ Attainable Sustainable
And food is really just the tip of the iceberg.
There’s parking to plan for and seating to arrange and weather to worry about (though worrying does the end result no good, it will either rain or it won’t).
There’s lighting to consider and mosquitoes to contend with and campers to prepare for.
Plan for rain. Rain can ruin an outdoor wedding quickly, and no one likes sitting in a drizzle, and it’s hard to take pictures if your camera lens is getting wet. – Chris @ Joybilee Farm
Oh, and let’s not forget the constant, self-imposed inspiration, ideas, and fantasies that can be brought about by simply reading through blog posts about glorious farm weddings (like these three amazing experiences)
Or by browsing through Pinterest.
Because yes, yes I do actually have a Farm Wedding Board.
And yes, yes it is full of perfectly lit photo shoots and perfectly arranged everything everywhere all the time because it is Pinterest but it is also full of real people planning real weddings in their own diverse and authentic ways!
And yes, there will be mason jars with colorful straws and sunflowers and white lights and colorful pennants and a fire pit and S’mores!
But through it all, we are doing our best to be our most authentic selves…
(Sorry guys, but despite the fact that we are two women getting married, it does not mean that we will be wearing two big, white, fluffy dresses.)
To honor each other…
(Through a non-traditional ceremony full of love and intention.)
To be gentle with each other…
(Through open communication and calling each other gently on our stress and B.S.)
To ultimately try our damnedest to have fun with the process.
Because the truth is, as long as we have food, beverages (and booze), a marriage license, and rings…
And are surrounded by all of the friends and family who are willing and able to show up for us…
Everything else will either fall into place or fall way.
So, despite my sleepless nights and non-stop Wedding Brain (who knew I’d be that Bride-to-be?!), I keep going back to what Kris said so wisely;
My only suggestion is to not stress it at all. It won’t all work perfectly, but it will work and at the end you will be married (legally and all!) and there will be beer.
And so, friends and family helped around the farm over the weekend, my best friend arrives on Wednesday, the first real wave of friends and family arrive on Thursday and we’re having a full on work day on Friday to prepare everything that can be prepared before Saturday.
And then Saturday is The Day…
And I simply cannot wait to make my Partner my Wife.
Officially.
And it will all work out perfectly, and we will be married (legally and all!) and there will be beer…l0ts of beer 🙂
See you on the other side, my friends!
xoxo,
M
P.S.
This space and my social media outlets will probably get a bit quiet over the next several days (aside from our glorious pre-scheduled Farm Photo Friday) while we prep, celebrate, and recover. However, I’ve established a hashtag for the wedding that I am hoping our guests will utilize as a way to share pictures with us (and the whole world) in an easy, instantaneous way 🙂 If you’re curious about what’s happening in real time, check out #egfwedding on Instagram and maybe even on Facebook. Who knows what our guests will capture, but my guess is that it will be perfectly amazing! 🙂
Oh my, sounds like it was a blast! I think the BYOB thing is pretty cool when it comes to farm weddings. Anything informal works well, as the point of a wedding is to celebrate the years of marriage that are to proceed so as long as bride and groom are happy then all is well! Thanks for sharing!
Since my wife and I are fond of beer and whiskey, we went with locally brewed kegs…and our guests brought plenty of whiskey for us all to share 🙂 It was truly a blast!
Congrats and best wishes for a glorious wedding!
But your post reminds me of why we DID elope. 🙂
Bill recently posted…Bad News
LOL…thank you! It was truly glorious!
My husband and I did this on August 8. I made the clothes, the cake, most of the food( with help from a girlfriend), the invites, the guest gifts… BYOB and a campfire. 30 guests and just as many comments that it was the best, most relaxed and “could not have been anymore perfect in reflecting who you are”. No regrets even if the rain moved us to the garage for the ceremony!
Congratulations! I’m so glad to hear that your special day was everything you could have hoped for! And hey, rain is good luck 🙂
Congrats! Good luck, relax and have fun!
barnraised (Jen) recently posted…Thank you
Thank you, Jen! It was truly wonderful!
So excited for you and I cannot WAIT to see pictures!
Kris @ Attainable Sustainable recently posted…Homemade Tzatziki Sauce
Thank you, Kris! I promise to not disappoint 🙂
my brother and his partner were married two weeks ago at their farm. They provided set-ups and everyone brought their own beverage of choice. They had gorgeous decorations and since they are into VW’s, they made their entrance driving their VW busses. I was so privilege to stand up as my brother’s matron of honor! Best advice? Take advantage of everyone’s help the day after too! Best wishes!
Oh, your brother’s wedding sounds absolutely divine! I wish we’d thought to tell people to BYOB! As it is, though, the party will be epic because of all the wonderful people who are showing up for us! We couldn’t be more blessed!