We spent some very intentional time with The Boys over the last few days…watching them, playing with them, feeding them grain…thanking them.
Thanking them for their lessons…
For their beauty…
For their grace.
Thanking them for stepping into our lives and showing us another piece of ourselves in this grand puzzle that is our journey.
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As we met with our neighbor about The Plan for the weekend E asked him if he was taking The Boys away (which is the language I’d been using with her to prepare her for their sudden absence) and he (with much more experience in such conversations than I) said, “They’re not going away, they’re just changing form and becoming a part of all of us again.”
E didn’t seem to fully grasp what he was meaning (she did just turn three) but I was grateful for the deeper meaning for her and for myself, the seed being planted in her heart (and the profound reminder in mine) about life and death and body and spirit and interconnectedness and flow.
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There’s something very different for me about this next step on our path…
The process of making really hard choices and following through with them…
The process of being closer to our food in the most intimate way possible and truly understanding what it means to give a living being a good life and then consciously choosing to take that life in order to sustain our own…
And making that distinct choice to know them and love them intentionally and to carry that with us in every meal they’ll provide us with.
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As I spent some alone time with Mama, Lucy & Ethel today as they find their new/renewed balance as a herd of three, I was overwhelmed by a deep knowing, a deep gratitude, for their original presence, for The Boys, and for the whole experience. I still feel very tender about it all…there are still a few tears in me and an ebbing and flowing of weight in my chest (as there should be)…and I wonder if this is a game changer for me on this journey of ours…if this will solidify my knowing that we are on the right path or if I will begin to question everything.
Though, really, questioning everything isn’t such a bad thing after all, now is it?